Blowing Bubbles
by rjones2818
Summary: Warning: This is VERY twisted! Relena tells a bad joke and finds that it brings up dark secrets. What happens. Slight Yaoi. 1x2, 3x4. Major Wufei and Relena bashing.


Blowing Bubbles.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own GW. I'm doing this for fun. Sort of.  
  
-Begin Story-  
  
Relena looked at the five young men in the room. Obviously, the evening was coming to an end. Quatre and Trowa were snuggling together at one end of the couch, while Heero and that braided bakka seemed to be inching closer to each other (Relena thought "You don't think Heero and Duo are...nah...Heero's in love with me!). Wufei was sitting in one of the recliners, and seemed to be ready to pass out. "Well, it's now or never for your joke" the voice in Relena's head said.  
  
Relena smiled coyly as she stood and prepared to leave. Each of the five boys stood as well, thanking her for coming over and being such a good guest. "Before I go boys," Relena started, "I have a question to ask."  
  
Quatre smiled and said "Well Relena, to tell you the truth, it doesn't hurt like you might suppose." Trowa blushed and tried to hide a guffaw when he saw the look on Relena's face. Heero and Duo broke down laughing and Wufei just sat in his chair with a look of embarrassment.   
  
The Queen of Pink tried to maintain her composure as she said "My dear boy, I'm sure it doesn't. But that wasn't what I was going to ask."  
  
Quatre, not missing a beat, said with a questioning tone "No condoms and we both swallow!?" Trowa had a slightly goofy look on his face as he saw Relena trying not to start shaking. Heero and Duo were gasping for air and Wufei's nose had started bleeding.  
  
The guest in the pink dress counted slowly to five, and she managed to unclench her fists by the time she reached four. "No, silly" she said slowly. Relena then smiled evilly and said "Do you remember blowing bubbles as a kid?"  
  
Each of the pilots looked at Relena, wondering why she would ask such a stupid question. However, in an attempt to get he out of the house the all nodded.  
  
Relena chuckled and said "Well, he's back in town and he wants to hook up with you again."  
  
Relena could swear that she heard a pin drop.  
  
Heero was the first to react. He reached inside his spandex shorts and pulled out a Glock 9mm semi-automatic. He immediately began checking to see if the gun was fully loaded.  
  
Duo was next, and he pulled an Uzi from under the sofa.  
  
Relena eeeped when she saw Quatre and Trowa each pull out knives from their pants. She then looked at Wufei, who had a look of serenity on his face that she had never seen before.  
  
Her shocked reaction was "What the hell?"  
  
Heero gave her a death glare. "Tom 'Bubbles' Johnson. Trainer of young soldiers. Needless to say, he forced himself on me. I thought I killed him on evening in a whirlpool."  
  
Duo piped up next. "Father William Patrick 'Bubbles' O'Reilly. He ran the children's ministry at Maxwell Church. He was a priest from Boston. Need I say more? I could've sworn I saw his head smashed in the rubble of the Church after the attack."  
  
Relena had started sweating when Trowa said "The man I took my name from was nicknamed Bubbles." She nearly gagged as he pulled the blade of the knife across his thumb, leaving a slightly bleeding cut. "This time, I'll take his head off." Relena felt the coldness of his voice.  
  
She looked in shock at Quatre, who was holding his hand up with a cut that ran width of his palm. The blonde Arabian said "Robert 'Bubbles' Martin. My first English tutor. He was buried up to his neck next to a fire ant hill. I don't know how he got away, but he won't this time."  
  
Relena then turned to Wufei and listened in shock as he said dreamily "Bubbles was my dog. Mommy and Daddy told me they put him down after they saw it. I don't know what they thought was wrong. I can hardly wait to see him again!"  
  
All four of the other pilots then stared at Wufei. Heero stammered "Y...you b...blew your...your...."  
  
Wufei looked at the people in the room and quietly said "I loved him so much. How else could I express it?"  
  
Relena heard Quatre yell "Pervert!" and saw the flash of his knife as it flew and lodged in Wufei's chest. Wufei didn't have time to even react when Trowa's blade found its mark in his shoulder. Heero and Duo simultaneously emptied their firearms into the body of the Chinese pilot who had just revealed his darkest secret.  
  
Relena saw that Heero and Duo were reloading and she threw herself across Wufei's lifeless body. "What are you doing??? My god, it was only a joke!"  
  
Quatre looked at the woman in a by now bloody dress. He was in Zero mode, which didn't bode well for her. "You dare call that a joke? We all went through hell because of 'Bubbles.' And you call it a joke?" He pulled another knife from his pants and expertly threw it at the pink target, who gasped as the blade lodged in her abdomen.  
  
Trowa had managed to get his hands on a shotgun, and silently pulled the trigger as the barrel pointed at Relena's legs. She screamed as the pellets ripped through her muscle and bone.  
  
Relena managed to look up at Heero one final time. He and Duo walked over to her, and put the tips of their firearms on her forehead and over her heart. They pulled their triggers simultaneously. Relena died instantly. Heero scowled and said "Serves her right for bringing up such bad memories." Each of the pilots nodded as they removed the carcasses from the den. The bodies were deposited in a ditch outside of Quatre's mansion, along with Wufei's recliner, and Heero used Wing's beam cannon to atomize the remains.  
  
After cleaning up the remaining mess in the den, the boys said goodnight and returned to their rooms, Quatre with Trowa and Heero with Duo. For one evening, there was no sound of lovemaking in the Winner mansion, although that would not be the case the next morning. The two couples cuddled tightly, facing down the demons from the past that Relena had unwittingly dredged from their psyches. But, for the first time when such memories had reared their heads for the four Gundam Boys, when they did managed to finally fall asleep, their dreams were not nightmares. They were with the ones they loved, and that power would see them through their dreams.  
  
-End Story- 


End file.
